It only takes a few minutes to make a bad first impression.....

It is ashame that more folks don't pay attention to the first impression that they make with strangers. Whether it is by chat, email, a YAHOO! group post or in person it is very important to put your best foot forward.

When new people come into our chat, it is very clearly apparent to me which people I would like to meet in person and which people need a class in social behavior. Say "hello" when you enter the chat room. Ask about the weather, where someone lives, how was their weekend or anything else that says you are alive and interested in them. Lurking into the room and sitting waiting to be invited to chat is like a middle school dance. It isn't the way adults socialize.

Our Meet-n-Greets too are full of great folks who mingle and chat with others. But, there are also the few that sit there like a lump and expect the world to come to them. That's not the way life works.

If you think you are a shy person, then prepare yourself. Read a newspaper or magazine before attending the chat or the Meet-n-Greet. Be prepared to chat about the weather, the music that you like, movies you have seen or want to see, your favorite sports teams, or even your travel experiences. Try to avoid chatting about sex with strangers at first. Even though the people in the chat or the Meet-n-Greet are there because they are interested in "creative" sexual ideas, remember that sex is 95% from the brain. And most people, women especially, would like to get to know you first before sharing their fantasies or experiences. As I have said many times, if you can't entertain my brain for a few hours without talking about sex or swinging, you aren't getting to first base with me.

It is our hope that people who attend our chat or our Meet-n-Greet have a great experience and get to know many other people. It is not our responsibility however to have to handhold every newbie. We are all adults and it is your responsibility alone to learn to socialize as an adult.

Remember, that first five minutes you spend with someone in chat or at a Meet-n-Greet will be the way they will remember you for a long time. Use it wisely!

Let me entertain you, or why should I?

Today's chip on my shoulder is aimed at the men who think I am their own private (or public) entertainment.

I can give you many anecdotes, but I will limit it to one. I log into JMeeting and I am barraged by men who tell me to move this way, or take this piece of clothing off. I tell them I will when I am ready, please don't direct.

Some stop, but many continue with the directing. Some have told me directly, but I need to see your tits to get off. This also happens in IM's and in person at swing parties sometimes.

When we are at a swing party it has been only the single men that do this. There aren't enough women to satisfy them all at once, so the lurk and start giving directions of asking for special views.

Well, let me tell you directly: I am not there for YOUR entertainment. I am there for my own pleasure. I am not interested in getting YOU off, I am interested in my OWN pleasure. If watching my own pleasure pleases you, then we are both happy. But, if you beg and plead for selfish things, you will get NOTHING from me but a good bye.

What does Hello mean in an IM or Chat room?

What does "hello" mean in a chat room?

To some guys it seems to mean "Hi, Please private message me cause I want to cyber with you until you cum."

So what does a friendly person do?
I am stuck either being rude and ignoring the newcomers, or sticking my neck out hoping that the latest newcomer is a polite person who understands English.