It only takes a few minutes to make a bad first impression.....

It is ashame that more folks don't pay attention to the first impression that they make with strangers. Whether it is by chat, email, a YAHOO! group post or in person it is very important to put your best foot forward.

When new people come into our chat, it is very clearly apparent to me which people I would like to meet in person and which people need a class in social behavior. Say "hello" when you enter the chat room. Ask about the weather, where someone lives, how was their weekend or anything else that says you are alive and interested in them. Lurking into the room and sitting waiting to be invited to chat is like a middle school dance. It isn't the way adults socialize.

Our Meet-n-Greets too are full of great folks who mingle and chat with others. But, there are also the few that sit there like a lump and expect the world to come to them. That's not the way life works.

If you think you are a shy person, then prepare yourself. Read a newspaper or magazine before attending the chat or the Meet-n-Greet. Be prepared to chat about the weather, the music that you like, movies you have seen or want to see, your favorite sports teams, or even your travel experiences. Try to avoid chatting about sex with strangers at first. Even though the people in the chat or the Meet-n-Greet are there because they are interested in "creative" sexual ideas, remember that sex is 95% from the brain. And most people, women especially, would like to get to know you first before sharing their fantasies or experiences. As I have said many times, if you can't entertain my brain for a few hours without talking about sex or swinging, you aren't getting to first base with me.

It is our hope that people who attend our chat or our Meet-n-Greet have a great experience and get to know many other people. It is not our responsibility however to have to handhold every newbie. We are all adults and it is your responsibility alone to learn to socialize as an adult.

Remember, that first five minutes you spend with someone in chat or at a Meet-n-Greet will be the way they will remember you for a long time. Use it wisely!

No reply at all?

Ever spend 10's of minutes (to hours) writing a swingers ad or a reply to one only to have nothing returned? We've had this happen too often, sometimes we reply to an ad a second time in thinking maybe the first one got lost. We feel it's kind of insensitive to say the least. We know that not all folks find anyone that replies a good playmate. We understand chemistry very well. Why can't they just hit <reply> type "no thanks" and then <send>???

More Newbie's guide to swinging advice.