It only takes a few minutes to make a bad first impression.....

It is ashame that more folks don't pay attention to the first impression that they make with strangers. Whether it is by chat, email, a YAHOO! group post or in person it is very important to put your best foot forward.

When new people come into our chat, it is very clearly apparent to me which people I would like to meet in person and which people need a class in social behavior. Say "hello" when you enter the chat room. Ask about the weather, where someone lives, how was their weekend or anything else that says you are alive and interested in them. Lurking into the room and sitting waiting to be invited to chat is like a middle school dance. It isn't the way adults socialize.

Our Meet-n-Greets too are full of great folks who mingle and chat with others. But, there are also the few that sit there like a lump and expect the world to come to them. That's not the way life works.

If you think you are a shy person, then prepare yourself. Read a newspaper or magazine before attending the chat or the Meet-n-Greet. Be prepared to chat about the weather, the music that you like, movies you have seen or want to see, your favorite sports teams, or even your travel experiences. Try to avoid chatting about sex with strangers at first. Even though the people in the chat or the Meet-n-Greet are there because they are interested in "creative" sexual ideas, remember that sex is 95% from the brain. And most people, women especially, would like to get to know you first before sharing their fantasies or experiences. As I have said many times, if you can't entertain my brain for a few hours without talking about sex or swinging, you aren't getting to first base with me.

It is our hope that people who attend our chat or our Meet-n-Greet have a great experience and get to know many other people. It is not our responsibility however to have to handhold every newbie. We are all adults and it is your responsibility alone to learn to socialize as an adult.

Remember, that first five minutes you spend with someone in chat or at a Meet-n-Greet will be the way they will remember you for a long time. Use it wisely!

Misbehavior at Meet-n-Greets

Below is a summary of SEVEN years of our observations and in NOT intended to be a typical finding at any ONE Meet-n-Greet. These were isolated by large amounts of time and seen at all different MnG's. No one was the baddest nor were all this bad at all times, OK?

First off it's not just the guys!

Ladies for the most part do behave as the fine ladies they are. This post is about open to the public Meet-n-Greets. As swingers we've all grown accustom to a relaxed mode of behavior at private parties and swingers clubs. There have been two instances where hosts posted online about this, see one post excerpt below.

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Hi Everyone
From: Jasmine

.....its open to everyone but I will say if you're a single male respect
the couples & single ladies..yes we dirty dance a bit but that doesnt
give anyone the right to grope another..and if you get a hard on while
dancing I suggest you either dont dance close or dance at all thats not
what we're there for..its all about meeting old and making new friends..
another thing if you cant handle your liquor than stay away from it
nothing worse than having a drunk with liquor breathe YUCK trying to
push up on someone.

---

What we've observed
As a couple we've gone to many Meet-n-Greets hosted in many states. Below is a few captures of bad behaviors we've seen. Please don't ask us for more details, it's past history!

Ladies flashing breasts
Now what we as hosts have seen from the ladies. A whole tables of them decided it would be cute to flash another table across the room while in a public hotel bar. Below isn't them but it represents fairly what we saw at the next table.

This in itself is fairly harmless to swingers but in a public bar could be trouble. Well the hotel security did spot them and brought the manager into the room. He missed the first return volley from the far table but caught the second flash from that table next to us. To us it was funny at first like the rest thought of it. Those ladies didn't see the reactions of the non swingers in the room nor the single guys beginning to pace and hover about.



Ladies mooning
As the breast flashes were happening we looked over to a booth along the wall and we see a woman in the booth with her entire ass showing. No panties and from across the room we could see her inner lips were the protruding kind with a very large clit. Not a picture of her but it represents the angle of what we saw from our table.

We want to be clear that this mooning was not a quick peek. She kept it up for over 20 minutes, even after several people told her about her exposure, including hotel security! A few of the regulars that knew her even came over to squeeze and touch her while she was there!


That Meet-n-Greet is no more! Due to these incidents and a few others that group has been asked to never return to that hotel.

---

Pool table fucking

At another Meet-n-Greet (also no longer in existence) one couple found they could predict and dodge hotel security. They actually fucked on the pool table with a regular audience. Lucky for them this out of the way bar didn't get a lot of visits by the general public! This is not a picture of her but it represents what we saw at the start of their public play times.

---

The bad guys
We saved the worst for last! Well let's see: Pacing, begging for party invites, following all over, barging into/listening to private conversations, inviting themselves to parties (overheard others being invited), saying hi to a couple and never leaving (common).

The all time great 'old school' sleazeball: buys you two drinks and then begins to grope you right there in the bar! (Husband standing next to them glaring in disbelief!)

Single Guys and Meet-n-Greets!

Why aren't there more single guys at the Meet-n-Greets? Many are complaining they can't meet women and couples to play with. They want us all to know how NICE and COURTEOUS and should be invited to our parties and get togethers, yet they won't show up at a Meet-n-Greet. Oh, they have many many excuses, "it is too far", "I have to work", "I am too shy with strangers", or the worst "I can't get away from my wife to go".

So, what are we to do?

1. Invite them to a party and those excuses would probably magically disappear.

2. Ignore them, since if they aren't willing to put in the effort to get to a Meet-n-Greet than what kind of effort are they going to put in to please a partner?

I choose #2!

Tips for Single guys and swinging

Size

I belong to a ladies only adult group at YAHOO! The discussion today was about men and their need to exploit their size. Or should I say, men who think that telling us their size will make us putty in their hands.

Well it was a general consensus that those men are completely out of it. Since 95% of sex is in the brain, telling me your size might feed 5% of my needs. What happens to the other 95%? They don't seem to care.

No reply at all?

Ever spend 10's of minutes (to hours) writing a swingers ad or a reply to one only to have nothing returned? We've had this happen too often, sometimes we reply to an ad a second time in thinking maybe the first one got lost. We feel it's kind of insensitive to say the least. We know that not all folks find anyone that replies a good playmate. We understand chemistry very well. Why can't they just hit <reply> type "no thanks" and then <send>???

More Newbie's guide to swinging advice.

Rough Sex = Sore Nipples

Why do men bite my nipples? Why do they pull them and twist as if they are trying to disengage a child proof cap from a medicine bottle? There are times that I have been left with such sore nipples that I couldn't even touch them myself for over a week.

I personally NEVER like it rough. I like soft, feathery touches and licks. But, even if I did want something else, it is always easier to start with soft and move forward. And if I say STOP or gentle please, LISTEN!

I am sure there are women who enjoy rough sex and pain. But, isn't it better to assume that a woman likes things gentle and soft and let her ask for more? Or ask her if she wants it rougher.

Diane

Red Barn, Berlin NJ - Our first trip report

First off we, both are not new to the peepshow booths in bookstores and public sex. This WAS our first (as a couple together) trip to an open theater place though (Hoople was at one in NYC years ago before the mayor cleaned up things).

We got to Red Barn about 7:45pm and stayed to about 9:15pm. We wanted to find the place before dark. We were a bit disappointed that there weren't any other couples or women there though. All the guys around us were very polite, except one guy was being a little to eager in his over the shoulder viewing for my wife's liking, she felt his breath on her occasionally. We were having a LOT of fun watching others watch us (a very BIG turn on for us) as I played with my wife's breasts thru her partially open dress. I was also rubbing her pussy every so often, albeit thru panties. Another guy offered the advice that 'most couples go up to the front row as there is room to stretch out'.

After some deliberation we moved forward (I wanted to look at the video peep booth room at left up font too) and sat against the wall to the far right. My wife resumed the BJ she had started before the breathy guy made her feel uneasy so at least I came. My wife did say on the way home that she was a bit turned on too.

We're not discouraged though as there is always one hormonally driven guy who 'pushes the envelope' for the scene. We had discussed our limits before hand and 'play with others' wasn't on the menu.

Copy of post created on Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Frequently Asked Questions about 'Berlin News Agency'

To all the straight guys about to join Yahoo Groups for Adult Book Store aka ABS's:

The remainder of this post is NOT our original writing. We had asked the owner of it, the group owner of http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PHILLYMOVIEFUN/ for permission to use it and have enhanced it slightly (large/italic section). Please take the time to read it CAREFULLY. The intent is NOT to discourage straight single guys from going to ABS' despite one guy's personal opinion. The focus is help to ALL find ABS' where women are present at times and to reduce the whiny complaints of bi/gay sexual activity seen at ABS' not regularly patronized by women.

"Please note that it is a myth that there are women waiting for you in porn theaters and adult bookstores or at the gloryholes looking for single str8 men & married str8 men. Please understand that women are rarely and very close to never at almost all porn theaters or any adult bookstores. There are the very rare wife or girlfriend who may go very infrequently with another male-partner, but rarely to never alone."

"So please, str8 men, understand that the majority of the action (not always, but close to ALL of it) in any porn theater or adult bookstore anywhere is going to be male-male. There are a few ABS's in NJ and PA that are exceptions with sporadic weekend st8 action: Berlin News (West Berlin, NJ), Cupid's Arcade (Kutztown, Pa), Cupid's Pleasures (Bethlehem Pa), Red Barn Berlin (Berlin and 3 other NJ locations), Charlies Dream Adult Theater

(Philly) and MovieThon (Union, NJ). Wait to see their posts about what day and time they will be going to the ABS. The most common times couples post for visits are weekend nights with an occasional daytime during the weekend. Most arrivals are after 8pm, but many arrive after 10 pm or even midnight. They choose the day and time, nuff said?"

"Also do not ask if there are any women who would want to go to a theater with you -- it makes you look selfish, stupid & clichéd. Trying to arrange a weekday daytime meeting at the ABS is very unlikely to succeed. It's extremely rare for a woman to be in an ABS on a weekday during the daytime period. Posting responses to the lady's ABS visit posting in hopes of arrange a 1-on-1 meeting outside the ABS is also VERY lame, after all they go to the ABS to be in a crowd, right?"

"Please take the time to try & understand or ask or even care about what a porn theater and adult bookstores are really all about and why the Yahoo! Group members there love them so much. Read the previously posted messages in the group once you join to familiarize yourself with who the couples are and when they visit. There are a few fakers too, so it will be worth your while to discover who they are too, so you don't get misled by them."

HnH

Why go to multiple Meet-n-Greets?

Here's why we do this: As seasoned swingers we have gone to as many as four and a few times six MnG's in one month! We've often run into others doing the same tactic. We know life is busy and you can't make it to every one but.....Most regular MnG's couples do not travel to other nearby MnG's. They go to their 'home' MnG monthly and are only seen there. OK, so what are you leading to?

So:
Couples going to MnG "A" are only seen there.
Couples going to MnG "B" are only seen there.
Couples going to MnG "C" are only seen there.

See the pattern now? The advantage we are descibing is you'll meet a LOT more new couples than you would have otherwise.

The bonus: Each M-n-G has 'feel' and regulars differences. MnG's vary slightly each month due to the differences in attendees (newbie and regulars). M-n-G's held in each areas are attended by the local (different) newbies, adding even more to the amount of different swingers to meet IF you travel to them. Couples seeking a particular 'type' or 'look' in other couple will improve their chances too. Narrow your focus and you meet less couples.

PS: A few couples do not go to their local MnG, they always travel to the distant MnG's. You can only meet those couples elsewhere, even though they may party locally.

Meet-n-Greet frequently asked questions

Webmail offline - preserve your info

• Yahoo! webmail slow reading 25 messages at a time?
  
• Want to back up your mail and contacts?
• 300 contact limit of the Online Address Book too low?
  
• Tired of SPAM filters that don't work well?
• Your Yahoo ID was deleted - lost everything?
  
• Someone been hacked - lost access to their account?
• Want to read emails faster aka offline? (not online)
  

One time techie work
These are the times when it makes sense to delve into a bit of techie stuff once to protect your information. The offline reading speed improvement compared to webmail is unbelievable to most. One can go thru and read 50 messages and delete 150 others in minutes when it used to take almost an hour in webmail!

It's VERY simple to read and do. Once this 5 minute one-time task is done the rest is reading and sending mail. If you've used web mail before the change is small as you already have experienced most of the basics.

Email program - choosing and obtaining it
One of the first things to do is choosing, obtaining and setting up an email program at your home PC. All modern Windows have Outlook Express already installed. Three steps already done with no effort! The remaining task is to point it to your personal ISP email account. This one time step is the last one between you and reading the first email! Now you can read mail from family, friends, new acquaintances and co-workers offline and back them up.

What if you use Yahoo! webmail?
Do you use Yahoo's free webmail as a second account for your online persona? (1) Well, for offline reading you have to download a free helper program called Ypops. This one time installation is VERY easy! We have a how-to page with pictures about Ypops installation to ease your pain. Honest, it's VERY simple ;-) Outlook Express can handle both your real life e-mail account and your second one or you can use another program (to keep them separated).

SPAM - got to much spam man?
Using Thunderbird (a free download) or MS Office Outlook 2003/2007 opens up the world to beating SPAM. Both these programs learn from you what you consider SPAM and move those messages to the Junk mail folder automatically. Anything it misses you can correct for the next time. After a few days spam will be at an all time low.

See, that wasn't so bad, right?

1) FWIW these email services will try to sell premium access for $20+ a month! They make it sound like it's the only way to read email offline on your PC. What they're leaving out is that it's also possible to do this WITHOUT paying for their extra service.

OK, So why don't I even want nice single guys at swing parties?

We go to many swing parties. Lately the predominance has been hotel parties. Unlike the swing clubs and private parties we have gone to, these parties usually allow a set amount of single men. These men have proven themselves to be polite gentlemen and their demeanor at these parties is nothing by stellar.

So what's the problem?

Well, since there aren't an even amount of women there are 2 problems for me.

First, inevitably, while I am enjoying one guy there is another poking, prodding or touching and trying to get in on the action for his pleasure. For a voyeur and even me sometimes, this is HOT. But, many times it destroys the moment of pleasure I was already having by being brought back to reality instead of in my far off brain of fantasy.

The other reason would apply to bi women only. Since there are so many men to find their pleasure and trying to get off, the bi women that are at these parties really can't pay attention to each other. I have had 2 experiences where another woman and myself were exploring each other and within minutes there were 3 purple one eyed monsters poking at our mouths and hands.

I am not sure what the solution is. Perhaps one of the beds in each room should be reserved for bi-women. Or maybe there should be a time set up for the women only. Or perhaps I need to just become more forceful and say "hey, I just want to be with her right now, can you leave us alone for a bit?"

Anyone have thoughts on this?

Let me entertain you, or why should I?

Today's chip on my shoulder is aimed at the men who think I am their own private (or public) entertainment.

I can give you many anecdotes, but I will limit it to one. I log into JMeeting and I am barraged by men who tell me to move this way, or take this piece of clothing off. I tell them I will when I am ready, please don't direct.

Some stop, but many continue with the directing. Some have told me directly, but I need to see your tits to get off. This also happens in IM's and in person at swing parties sometimes.

When we are at a swing party it has been only the single men that do this. There aren't enough women to satisfy them all at once, so the lurk and start giving directions of asking for special views.

Well, let me tell you directly: I am not there for YOUR entertainment. I am there for my own pleasure. I am not interested in getting YOU off, I am interested in my OWN pleasure. If watching my own pleasure pleases you, then we are both happy. But, if you beg and plead for selfish things, you will get NOTHING from me but a good bye.

What does Hello mean in an IM or Chat room?

What does "hello" mean in a chat room?

To some guys it seems to mean "Hi, Please private message me cause I want to cyber with you until you cum."

So what does a friendly person do?
I am stuck either being rude and ignoring the newcomers, or sticking my neck out hoping that the latest newcomer is a polite person who understands English.

Why aren't there more single guys at Meet-n-Greets?

Why aren't there more single guys at the Meet-n-Greets?
Many are complaining they can't meet women and couples to play with. They want us all to know how NICE and COURTEOUS and should be invited to our parties and get togethers, yet they won't show up at a Meet-n-Greet.
Oh, they have many many excuses, "it is too far", "I have to work", "I am too shy with strangers", or the worst "I can't get away from my wife to go".

So, what are we to do?
1. Invite them to a party and those excuses would probably magically disappear.
2. Ignore them, since if they aren't willing to put in the effort to get to a Meet-n-Greet than what kind of effort are they going to put in to please a partner?

Welcome to Our Blog

We are happy to have you join us for sharing and communication. After spending 2 1/2 years chatting online before we met in person, Hoople and I had the beginnings of a connection where communication was key to our relationship. We hope that blogging will help us to open the paths of communication for you as well as invite new avenues of subjects for us to share with each other.

I can be very opinionated. Sometimes I have even been called names that I won't repeat because my opinions bother others. But, that's what is great about opinions. Everyone has one and it's OK not to agree. In a way opinions are very much like swinging. My preferences might not be yours, but that doesn't make either right or wrong.

Please feel free to voice your opinion here. Just keep in mind that flaming of ANY kind will not be tolerated. Also, racial, ethnic, sexual, or religious slurs will not be tolerated. This blog is for sharing opinions, not hurting or disparaging anyone!